The Stresses And Struggles Of A Stammerer
I would hazard a guess that the majority of people stress about one thing or another. This stress may be caused by worrying about money, work, relationships, health, family, holidays, moving house or many other daily issues. For certain people who live life with a stuttering problem, stress can have an altogether different meaning. It is not only the above that people who have a stammer/stutter have to contend with. Simple every day tasks of which fluent people take for granted can prove very difficult.
I will take as an example a young man who is eighteen years of age, I will call him Peter. Peter has had a problem with his speech for as long as he can remember and has what is known as stuttering or stammering. Despite attending regular speech therapy classes, Peter has continued to be affected by this form of speech impediment and is starting to become very concerned about the future.
To start with Peter is concerned about his present and also his long term career prospects. He worries that quite a lot of employers may be reluctant to employ somebody who has a speech impediment and even if he is able to gain employment he worries about how he will cope in the workplace when he is unable to talk fluently. Routine tasks such as answering the telephone, having a conversation with a colleague, having a meeting with his team leader are things that cause Peter a lot of stress. As you can no doubt tell Peter is somewhat struggling with his anxieties even before he has found employment – how will he cope when he manages to secure a position within a company.
Peter also stresses about love and marriage. He is yet to have a girlfriend, which he puts down to his lack of overall confidence and ability to chat them up. He would however dearly love to meet a woman with whom he could call his own girlfriend but worries that no girl/woman would want to date somebody who has a stutter.
For people out there who are stressed about something, spare a thought for people who stutter as they have probably got it a whole lot worse than you. It can be quite difficult to stop stuttering where as stress management is all in the mind.
Stuttering, Weight Problems And A Bald Patch – Not A Good Start!
May 7, 2010 by admin
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There were a range of things which impacted upon my overall self-confidence and self-esteem levels as I grew from being a young child to a man. These included:
A small patch on my scalp which was bald
A speech impediment known as a stutter
A weight problem, I was basically too fat
I am quite short at five foot four
Certain people I met would be quite nasty and would try to make fun of me. I tried really hard to ensure that these nasty people did not affect me however I must admit that there were many a time when I would shed a tear. Life at times was quite tough especially where I worked at the company offering dog insurance.
Aged 22 I decided to do something about this pathetic way of living – I needed to become a real man – I needed to become strong and far more care-free. I decided I needed a big change in attitude and started to read books about life and about positive thinking etc.
These were the things I had to take on board:
It is not important what other people think of you, it is what you think that counts
You need to start to like yourself
There are various things about your person, you do not like but which you can not change. You therefore have to start accepting these things and realising that maybe there are other people in life who are more unfortunate than you.
You need to have respect for yourself
Only accept the best from life
Be happy
I tried hard to implement this advice and even though it was not easy to change, I knew I had to. I basically live life to the full now and try not to worry about anything trivial. I have also managed to eradicate the stammering problem.
I have now become a successful external doors salesman and my life is now much happier overall.
I hope this article will be of benefit to the people who read it.
Stutter Therapy Classes
March 14, 2010 by admin
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There are many types of stutter therapy including stutter cure courses or traditional speech therapy. I have overcome a stutter and in this article I describe what it is like to be fluent for me.
I am now able to order food and drink for example, without fear of a stutter, speak on the telephone and am able to enjoy socialising. As you may well imagine life is far easier for me now that I have achieved total fluency – the freedom it provides is amazing. I appreciate my speech compared with the average fluent person, who does not realise how lucky they are. Some would even say that I talk too much, but this is something I will never apologise for – when I had a stutter I hardly spoke at all.
As a person with a stutter, I seemed to accept second best. I left school because of the stutter, dated girls which to be truthful, not only did I not feel attracted to, but did not particularly find interesting. My stuttering mind convinced me that I could do no better. I was unhappy where I worked, but just accepted it; I did not feel able to put myself through the interview process again.
I now run The Stop Stammering Centre where I run one-to-one stuttering help courses to help people to achieve fluency. As well as these courses I also offer a variety of self-help options including the ever popular seventy minute DVD, an audio book and an e-book. All of these self-help options include full descriptions of the techniques which I successfully used to overcome my own speech impediment.
I am more than happy to answer any questions that you may have therefore please feel free to contact me.
I look forward to helping you to overcome your speech impediment.
Stephen Hill from The How To Stop Stammering Centre
Self-Esteem Advice
One day when I was around my early to mid twenties, I went to the hairdressers for my monthly trim. This woman enquired about whether I had heard about the tragic car crash that had recently occured. I had not heard of any crashes and therefore she started to tell me about the horrible accident.
Three young men who were all aged twenty-two, were on the way for an evening in the local public house. One of the men was speeding and was unable to keep control of the car. His vehicle had then careered straight into a large tree, all three of the people in the car had died at the scene.
She continued that one of the men which had died, had worked in the butchers, which was only two doors away from her shop. She described the man in question, which turned out to be a person that I knew, just to say hello to. This was a person I would walk past on the majority of mornings and we would say a quick hello to each other.
Later on when I was at home, I started to think even more about this particular person. Even though he was friendly, he always looked quite stressed and did not seem that happy. My guess is that he would have perhaps been more care-free and positive had he known that he did not have long to live.
It should not have taken this kind of tragedy to bring me to my senses, but it did. Morbid as it is I pondered on the thought that we all have to die at some stage and that none us know when that day will come. I am sorry if that is a bit morbid, but it is true. Not all of us will live until retirement age and our lives could end tomorrow.
I have always been a bit of a worrier; mainly about my speech I suppose as I had a stuttering speech impediment. I did eventually manage to gain fluency via an intensive one-to-one stuttering therapy course but even then I started to worry about business; I work for a composite door company and for a business cost reduction specialist on a part time basis.
I now have learnt to stop stressing so much – life, I have now learnt, is just too short.
How To Think In A Positive Manner
February 2, 2010 by admin
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We all face problems or hurdles as we travel along the road of life, this article gives my viewpoint on how to deal with these issues. I have personally taken inspiration from my favourite football team, Birmingham City. They have a famous song which their supporters regularly sing, it is called, keep right on to the end of the road.
I have often been amazed by the passion and the buzz that I get when going to watch them, and also the passion of the rest of the crowd. During one season, these supporters without knowing it, taught me a huge lesson. The season in question had been a very poor one for Birmingham and it resulted in the team being relegated to the then second division (the leagues have been reformed since then and this division is now known as the first division). This was the lowest point the club had ever reached.
There was only one more match of the season remaining which would be at home and our team had already been consigned to relegation. At most clubs the fans would no doubt give the players some stick and would make it an uncomfortable afternoon for them. Not so at Birmingham, the fans were as passionate as ever and continued to support and cheer them on. At one point a leaflet was sent round the Birmingham supporters which had been produced by the supporters club members. It stated on this leaflet that despite the club reaching its lowest point, that they wanted as many fans as possible to travel to the last match of the season, which would be in London. The fans wanted to ensure that the club were fully aware that we were right behind them and that we would not desert them in their hour of need. I went to that match as did around six thousand other Birmingham fans. One song was sang throughout the whole match, keep right on to the end of the road. It was an amazing experience for me and one that I will never forget. The team still lost but that did not matter one bit~As many pundits predicted Birmingham ended up losing the match but the supporters did not really care}~As many pundits predicted Birmingham ended up losing the match but the supporters did not really care}.
Later I thought about what had happened. I realised that when I felt a bit depressed, I needed to think of that day and to quickly pick myself up. I was basically a person who would always think negatively about things and I now realised that had to start thinking much more positively. This is not easy however but is something that I try hard to do~I am not trying to suggest that this is easy however I do try my best to do it}. I had a negative attitude in part due to the fact that I had a speech impediment. With this new found attitude I eventually found a way of stuttering and I have now been fluent for the last fourteen years.
I have also gained success in my business life selling external doors for a local composite door company. It is amazing what a good approach can have on the sales of these affordable front doors. I also work with a group of experts who advise on becoming a foster carer.
My belief is that positive people have positive and happy lives. This is what I want and the above example has helped me to get back onto my feet many times.
Life Coach Advice
I am a person who at many times in my life have felt down and depressed about various issues that I have had in my life such as the fact that I had a speech impediment, stuttering. I was desperate to find a way to stop stammering/stuttering and was more than happy to work hard to achieve fluency.
From reading life coaching and positive thinking books, I realised I had to become a far stronger person, more care-free and to have more respect for myself. I decided that if I did not want to go somewhere I wouldn’t, whatever anyone said. This new found attitude would not be easy to carry off but I was determined to give it a go.
Then came the first challenge to this new found attitude; it happened at my friend Ian’s house. He is a very successful business man; he sells front doors for a living and can be quite an assertive person, he also works with a group of cost reduction experts. He was trying to organise a night out for the following Saturday. I was not at all interested in going out on that particular night for various reasons. Ian soon asked if I was interested in going out to which I answered in the negative.
That answer was not enough for him and he proceeded to question my reasons for not wanting to go. I felt all of the eyes of the people present descend on me and I felt quite awkward. Normally in this situation I would give some excuse but instead I asked him why I needed to give a reason and why my answer of no was not enough for him. He seemed quite shocked at my strong response and moved on to question and nag someone else.
I am now a much more assertive person myself and I am pleased to report that I have now managed to overcome the stutter thanks mainly due to the expert therapy offered at the How To Stop Stammering Center in Birmingham.
The Importance Of Stuttering Therapies
The importance of communication is well known; whether it be communication in the workplace, in a social environment or within the home, to be able to communicate with others in a fluid and cohesive manner is vital. So what about those people in the community who have a speech impediment and who therefore are unable to speak in a fluent way for this reason? Can you imagine just how difficult it is for people who stutter to succeed in business and life?
I was one such person, yes I had a stutter, in fact I had one for eighteen years of my life. Life back then (I have enjoyed the last thirteen years being able to talk fluently) was tough and what made it even more difficult to bear was the fact that people had no idea as to what I was going through. There was certainly a lack of care, or at least it seemed that way.
In my early twenties I was working for a rather large financial corporation in the UK. I had a rather basic role within the organization however was often appalled at the lack of communication skills within the higher management. These people were able to speak free from any form of speech impediment yet chose not to. This was of massive frustration to many of the staff but especially to myself for obvious reasons. It was as if they could not be bothered to pass on information or to advise of the changes within the business, verbally or via e-mail.
Having a stutter in the workplace was quite an experience; you certainly get to know who your real friends are. Stuttering, or stammering as some people call it, nearly ruined my life however I did eventually manage to achieve fluency.
I have two pieces of advice for the readers of this article; firstly to the people who have a stutter – do not give up – if I can overcome my stutter then there is no reason why you can’t overcome yours. Secondly to the higher management of businesses – poor communication skills can often lead to lower profits therefore start communicating!
I now run a five day stuttering cure speech course. The courses are based in Birmingham, England.
Depression Caused By Stuttering
Do you suffer from depression? Have you lost the will to live? Are you seeking a solution to your problems with depression? These are three questions that I would have certainly answered yes to a couple of years ago. I have however managed to turn my life around; the depression has been eradicated once and for all; I am free at last to live my life in the way that I have always wanted to.
I am not in any involved with the “depression industry” if there is such a thing; this article is purely explaining my experiences of depression. I am actually involved on a daily basis with helping people to stop stuttering and I also help people to learn to play the guitar. I have a third role which is a very minor one which is working with a group cost reduction consultants.
The cause of my personal depression
I have to say that the main cause of my depression was due to the fact that I had a stutter. This speech impediment basically ruined my life for eighteen years and was something that would often leave me feeling quite sorry for myself.
I feared for my overall future. How would I be able to get on in the world with this frustrating stutter? I was fully aware of just how it would negatively impact on my prospects for employment, relationships with friends and members of the opposite sex and overall confidence/happiness.
The solution
I was very fortunate to meet a very educated man called Jason when I was aged twenty-two. He persuaded me to fight back against all of my demons and gave me the belief that I would be able to overcome the stutter, as well as eradicating the depression.
You need to believe in yourself, you need to understand that there is a lot of people in a worse position than you and you need to be thankful of what you do have rather than solely concentrating on what you do not have, explained Jason.
You should be willing to work extremely hard to improve your life and to beat this depression.
The result
I am pleased to report that after working extremely hard I was able to find a cure for stuttering and was also able to find happiness, the depression and stutter have both been eradicated for once and for all.
The Best Way To Stop Stressing
Up until a few years ago many of my friends and family used to call me “a stress head”. Why you may well be thinking? I basically worried and stressed about most aspects of life.
So what was the cause of all of this stress? I suppose if I am truthful the majority of my problems at the time came about due to the fact that I had a stutter. This speech impediment had developed when I was at the age of four. As you may well imagine it is something that destroyed my overall confidence levels. Therapy for stuttering, at the time, was less than impressive which did not exactly help the situation.
My low self-esteem had a bad affect on many areas of my life, not just my speech. I would worry about what other people thought of me, I would stress about my height and my weight. I had a need or want, for some unknown reason, for people to like me. I have to say that this now seems so bizarre however at the time I was being plagued by an army of demons that had taken over my brain.
As I entered into my twenties I decided that enough was enough. I could no longer live in this way – there surely had to be more to life than this.
I was soon to realise that I was the only person who was going to sort my life out.
I started to work very hard at learning how to increase self-esteem for example. I watched the way in which great fluent talkers spoke and tried to compare it with the way that I spoke. I hoped this would result in me finding the solution to my stuttering problem.
Progress was far from quick however after around a year of battling against my demons I did manage to overcome the stutter and I did manage to discover ways to stop me stressing – it is all about attitude and the way we approach life – think positive and believe in yourself!
A Stuttering Cure
Are you looking for techniques that can help you to eradicate your stutter? Has speech and language therapy or pathology been unable to help you to the levels that you require? Is second best no longer acceptable? The above three questions are ones that I would regularly answer in the positive during the eighteen years when I had a stutter. I was constantly looking for that miracle “stuttering cure”.
Now I am fully aware to call it a stuttering cure is not exactly what some people would call the “correct English” but I basically was looking for a way or a set of techniques that could enable me to “stop stuttering”. At there time there were not that many stuttering therapies out there, or at least not ones that were worthy of the name.
I always find it strange when I read about the so called National Associations for Stuttering or Stammering. For some reason they seem to always advise people to attend local speech and language therapy. Well that is a great referral! What is the point of asking people to attend speech therapy, something that has been unable to help them in the past? Speech therapy does not work for people who stutter, well not to the levels that they desire – again to stop stuttering completely and let’s face it anything else is to accept second best.
I searched high and low in my quest to find the solutions to stuttering. I read many a book, asked many a question and studied many of the “best talkers”.
I put in a massive amount of effort, hard work and dedication as that is what is required. The majority of people are fully aware and accept that there is not one magical pill that can cure a stutter. What is required is a desire to succeed and a willingness to work hard to ensure that the techniques become second nature.
There is now a seventy-minute film which has been produced by a DVD replication company in association with The How To Stop Stuttering Centre which has full explanations of the techniques required to achieve fluency.