How To Turn Enemies Into Friends
June 25, 2010 by admin
Filed under Uncategorized
If there is someone you know or work with that you just cannot stand the sight of, how can you change your negative perception on that person? How do you turn back time on someone you never liked in the first meeting?
Firstly, let us address why it is important not to think ill of someone no matter how horrible or annoying they are to you.
For starters, because it is not healthy! Not for that person but for YOU! It is unhealthy to let negativity grow in you. Those bad thoughts will cause you undue stress.
Secondly, that person may have really good qualities in them, but because you have planted that seed of dislike, the longer you don’t weed it out, the deeper the roots will grow. So even if that person does something nice, there is no way you will be able to see it because you would have already been blinded by deep rooted dislike.
Take it as a personal growth test to like someone you already dislike. We could all choose to be critical or we could choose to be benevolent.
Here are some steps to liking the unlikeable:
Don’t nitpick
Nitpicking on trivial matters like the way they match their clothes or the way they chew is just not worth your time. You can be amazed at how much energy nitpicking can take away from you. Before you even think about something bad, stop yourself. Tell yourself that you are the bigger person here and that trivial things are not going to ruin your day because they are not worth it.
See good
Start by seeing something good in that person. Go slow. It may be tough at first but it will get easier. Even if that person looks like a crow, think of something nice. Give that person a scan (when they are not looking of course) and see if you can find something you might get to like about that person. Perhaps it is the way their eyes turn to slits when they smile. Or how they always wear the funkiest earrings. Once the first step gets easier, move on to something deeper like how quick they complete each project. Or how they are actually great with kids. By seeing good in people, you turn negative vibes into positive energy.
Turn things around
Instead of being critical and judgmental, try the opposite. For instance, Joan is a stuck-up at work. You can choose to see her that way or you could choose to see Joan as being very professional at her job. You can choose to see Steve as a pushover and a weakling with no bones in him, or you could see him as a really nice man that just needs to meet nicer people. Or see Sam as brilliant and passionate rather than obsessed and problematic. There are many ways to turn things around and start seeing the light in people. Again, start on something small.
Empathize
Put yourself in that person’s shoes. A little empathy can sometimes go a long way. Someone you know talks too much and you are beginning to hate the sound of her/his voice? Try and see what life is like for them. Maybe they cannot share their stories at home, maybe they feel the need to be part of the group, maybe they have low self-esteem. If someone is constantly sarcastic, maybe he/she’s got personal growth issues or maybe they are going through a rough time, or unlike you, they have never been taught how to communicate. Yes, you are making assumptions about their life, and yes, these assumptions are probably not true, but it will ease your annoyance and you will find it easier to get along with that person. While some may call it making excuses for the person, the bottomline is that it is better to think well than think ill.
If you are able to turn all feelings of frustration, annoyance and utter dislike for another person into good, healthy, optimistic vibes, it’s a great start to your own personal growth. It will not be an easy task, but remember these tips and you might be able to make a friend out of an enemy.
A Motivational Speaker Wonders: Is Your Brain Hindering Your Effectiveness?
September 5, 2009 by admin
Filed under Organic Business Trends
As a motivational speaker, (during my keynote speeches) I often ask: How many times each day do you perceive the side of your own nose? And, if you wear spectacles, how often do you see the frames? I imagine that your answer to both these questions is: “not often”.
This observation is actually surprising when you consider that both your nose and specs are well within your field of view. (My motivational speaker and training audiences are commonly extremely surprised.) How come aren’t you persistently disturbed by them obscuring your ability to see? Here’s the answer: It’s because your brain blocks them out.
In fact, only a small part of the colossal amount of sensory information picked up by your senses ever reaches your awareness. Trying to purposefully appraise all this data would be as hard as trying to collect the Niagara Falls in a bucket the size of a thimble. Filtering out all the ‘unimportant’ sensory information, (and that includes your nose and glasses), is a extremely important brain function.
How come – as a motivational speaker - did I think it was very important to bring this wierd visual phenomenon to your attention? Answer: Because it raises an vital point. This scientific oddity got me wondering, does a limited perspective mean limited success? Fact is numerous characteristics of our brain filter have a direct impact on our prosperity. For example, it makes our current thought patterns even more pervasive. In this editorial I’m going to talk about a extremely important characteristic of the brain filter, how it tends towards the pessimistic.
A Pessimistic viewpoint
The cerebral sieve lets the pessimistic aspects of a situation dominate your attention. Need convincing? Then try this easy exercise. (Incidentally I regularly recommend this exercise in my motivational healthcare presentations.)
Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. Now, for the remainder of the day, when you “think positive” sketch a “Smiley Face” on one side of the line. On the other hand, every occasion you have a negative thought, mark a cross on the other side. Try this exercise and learn which half of the paper you cover first. When subjects carry out this task candidly, they find out they’re far more gloomy than they appreciated.
Brain scientists have suggested that what we need is a wider viewpoint. It’s vital we study how to balance the positive and pessimistic characteristics of a situation. Why is this important? Because a positive point of view is predictive of peak performance in many areas from sales to sports.
A Motivational Speaker’s Answer…
The next time a negative thought pops into your head, attempt these straightforward action steps:
Tip 1: Remember your native inclination to focus on the negative
Tip 2: Then, look at your circumstances from various points of view.
Tip 3: Ask yourself straightforward questions. For example: Honestly, how awful this is problem really? Will I still care about it in three years time?
To sum up, being aware of your brain sieve will make you less reactive and more effective. Take control of your thinking and observe what occurs. Take it from a motivational speaker, you’ll be surprised!
A Motivational Speaker Wonders: Is Your Brain Limiting Your Achievement?
September 3, 2009 by admin
Filed under Organic Business Trends
As a motivational speaker, (during my keynote speeches) I often inquire: How often do you notice the side of your own nose? And, if you wear spectacles, how frequently do you see the frames? I would guess that your answer to both questions is “not very often”. Am I correct?
This observation is actually surprising when you consider that both your nose and specs are well within your visual field. (My motivational speaker audiences are normally very taken aback.) Which raises the issue, since they intrude upon your visual field, how come your nose and glasses don’t become a visual distraction? Here’s the answer: It’s because your brain blocks them out.
In fact, only a minuscule portion of the enormous amount of sensory information detected by your senses ever impinges on your awareness. Attempting to assimilate all this sensory input would be utterly hopeless. Filtering out all the ‘unimportant’ information, (and that includes your nose and glasses), is a key brain function.
So why – as a professional motivational speaker – did I bring this wierd visual phenomenon to your attention? Answer: Because it raises an very important point. This biological oddity got me thinking, does a narrowed perspective mean limited success? It turns out several of the characteristics of our brain filter have a immediate bearing on our professional growth. Case in point, it focuses our awareness towards our expectations. In this article I’m going to consider a very important characteristic of the brain sieve, how it tends towards the pessimistic.
Your Negative viewpoint
Your brain sieve directs your awareness towards the negative elements of your circumstances. Need convincing? If so, attempt this straightforward assignment. (Incidentally I routinely suggest this exercise in my motivational health care programs.)
Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. Then, every time you have a upbeat thought, draw a tick on one side of the line. But, each occasion you have a downbeat notion, mark a cross on the other side. Which side do you reckon you’ll fill up first? Most test subjects cover the negative side of the pad of paper much faster than the positive.
What we need is a wider outlook, the aptitude to see the optimistic aspects of a situation so we can counteract our natural tendency to be pulled towards the negative. How come? For the reason that an optimistic perspective is prognostic of prosperity in many areas from sales to sports.
A Motivational Speaker’s Answer…
On the next occasion a pessimistic notion pops into your brain, try these practical steps:
Tip 1: Recollect your native propensity to focus on the negative
Tip 2: Then, look at your frustration from different outlooks.
Tip 3: Ask yourself simple questions. For example: Honestly, how awful this is problem really? Will I still care about it in three years time?
In conclusion, being aware of your brain sieve will make you less reactive and more effective. Take control of your thinking and observe what happens. Take it from a motivational speaker, you’ll be astonished!
positive thinking and love – I deserve the best
August 22, 2009 by admin
Filed under Organic Business Trends
I deserve the best
© Raj Arumugam,2008
http://www.positivethinkingthecompleteguide.com
I deserve the best
I love myself;
I love the world:
it is good
it is right
it is right to love
for love is pure and nurturing
if it is good to love
it is good to start with oneself
it is good to love oneself
for one who
cannot love oneself
cannot truly love another
loving oneself
one finds calm,
peace and quiet;
from love flows
positive thinking, natural and smooth
love moves one
to completeness —
to all good things
one needs in life:
love yourself.
I love myself;
I love the world:
it is good
it is right
Duration : 0:0:39